Broken
by all4jesus84
Summary: What would life be like at the Brady house if Bo and Hope had a daughter? This is the story of Alyssa Brady, a very depressed teenager. Can the love of her family save her before it's too late? COMPLETED
1. Late Night

Bo unlocked the front door of their Victorian style house quietly, careful not to wake the sleeping baby inside. He turned back to his wife and smiled.

"I hope you had a wonderful night, fancy face." He beamed. He stared into Hope's deep brown eyes and was reminded once again, as he was every time he looked at her, how much he truly loved her.

Hope wrapped her arms around Bo's neck and looked up at him, smiling back.

"Every time I'm with you, I have a wonderful time." She closed in slowly and gently pressed her pink lips against Bo's. The kiss was affectionate, true proof that the love they shared was real. Not a day passed by that they forgot to thank God for the blessing they found in each other, and in their three beautiful children. Their oldest son, Shawn, who was just beginning his second year of college. Bo and Hope were so proud of him. He had received a full baseball scholarship to Salem University two years ago and was still doing great. Shawn also had a girlfriend, Belle, who he was serious about. The love that his parents shared gave Shawn the faith and hope that true love will always prevail against anything.

Bo and Hope's youngest son, Zac was still a baby, only two years old. Bo and Hope knew how lucky they were to have him. Due to horrible situations two years ago, their baby was switched with the baby of their good friends. The babies had been raised the first year of their lives in the wrong homes when the truth finally came out and Zac was given back to Bo and Hope. Such a happy little boy and a loving addition to the Brady family.

Then there was their middle daughter, Alyssa who was just a junior in high school. Bo and Hope loved her passionately but she was always so quiet, so reserved. She and her parents were very close but Bo and Hope sometimes felt that Alyssa held back her feelings. She had so many difficulties at school. She didn't have any friends and the teasing she endured from her peers caused her to have low marks. She was the exact opposite of Shawn, who was involved in school activities, had lots of friends and good marks. Bo and Hope were so pleased with their son when he frequently invited his little sister to hang out with him and his friends. Shawn loved Alyssa and wanted to see her happy. As did Bo and Hope. Not only with Alyssa, but with all three of their wonderful children.

"Shh Bo, we have to be quiet. It's past midnight, the kids are probably asleep." Hope whispered as Bo entered the house first and stumbled for the light switch. Hope followed him inside, shutting the door behind her and removing her fur coat. Bo approached his wife with a big grin and he took her hand into his own.

"What are you thinking?" Hope could tell by Bo's hearty smile that he had things on his mind.

"What do you say we go into the kitchen and celebrate our love over a glass of champagne?" Bo suggested in his low, romantic voice. Hope raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Brady, that's the best idea you've had all night." She led the way, keeping his hand locked in her own.

They pushed through the kitchen door to discover the kitchen light on, and Alyssa standing in front of the refrigerator, pouring herself a glass of milk. Hope puckered her brow as she watched her only daughter close the milk container.

"Hi mom, hi dad." Alyssa greeted in a low whisper and she sat down at the table with her milk. Bo and Hope, who hadn't expected anyone to be awake this late on a school night, sat down with their daughter.

"Alyssa, you have school in the morning. You know your mom and I like you in bed by 10:30pm. What's the deal?" Bo asked calmly. Bo and Hope never yelled at their children. They believed that talking calmly did the trick, as well as acts of discipline such as phone privileges taken away. Luckily, Bo and Hope had raised three terrific children who obeyed every rule and hardly ever broke them.

Alyssa shrugged slightly with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"I can't sleep. I tried to for an hour, but I can't." She said quietly as she sipped her milk, waiting for her parents to say something.

Bo and Hope exchanged concerned glances. This was the fifth night in a row that Alyssa couldn't sleep. She had complained about not being able to get comfortable, but Bo and Hope were beginning to wonder if there was something more to it than that. They were so concerned for their daughter.

"If you guys want to be alone, I can take my milk to my room." Alyssa got up to leave, but Hope shook her head.

"No of course not sweetie. Sit down." She said as Alyssa lowered herself back into the chair. She eyed both her parents and feared she would be in trouble.

"Honey, why can't you sleep?" Hope tried, knowing she would get the same excuse as the last four nights. When she did, she only nodded in disbelief.

"Alyssa, your mom and I are a little concerned. You haven't been sleeping lately. Is there a reason why you can't sleep?" Bo asked, hoping that his reserved daughter might open up.

Alyssa looked into the eyes of her mom and dad and knew they were sincere. She knew they loved her, she could feel it. It wasn't like she felt she couldn't talk to them, she knew they'd understand, but a part of her told her not to. To keep it to herself. With that mind set, Alyssa shook her head slowly.

"No dad, there's not really any reason besides the fact that I just can't get comfortable." She said unemotionally. Hope tried to hide her disappointment.

"Alright, well just remember that we love you and you can always come to us with anything. You know that right?" She asked, as she reached across the table and placed her hand over her daughter's and stroked it. Alyssa smiled and Bo could see the resemblance between the mother and daughter at that moment.

"I know that." Alyssa said quietly. Silence followed for a moment before Hope stood up.

"I'm making some tea. Alyssa, I think you should go take another shot at getting some sleep. Are Shawn and Zac asleep?" She asked as she filled the teapot with water.

"Yeah, Zac went straight to sleep after I read him Dr. Seuss. Shawn got home from his date with Belle about half an hour after you and dad left. He studied for a bit, then I heard him go to bed a little bit after I did. They're both asleep now." Alyssa reported. Hope nodded and kissed her daughter's forehead and embraced her tightly.

"I love you baby." Hope said, really meaning it.

"I love you too mom." Alyssa replied, sensing her mother was worried. Bo hugged Alyssa tightly and tousled her hair gently.

"See you in the morning sailor girl." Bo winked at his daughter as she smiled at the nickname. Alyssa remembered all the times Bo and Hope took her and Shawn out sailing on their boat. Bo had always called Shawn "sailor man" and Alyssa "sailor girl" and it stuck, even as they grew older. And now that they had Zac, Bo called him "sailor baby." Alyssa loved her family so much and remembering the times they shared together brought joy to her heart in her recent times of sadness.

"Goodnight." Alyssa took her milk and went upstairs.

Hope finished making her tea in silence, as her back was turned to Bo. Bo knew that Hope was trying to hide from him the fact that something was bothering her, but she couldn't fool her husband. He knew just by her silence that she had something on her mind. Bo was quiet as he observed her. She carried her hot tea back to the table and sat down, gazing into her cup. The smile that was spread across her beautiful face only moments ago when they first arrived home had been replaced by a sad frown and downcast eyes.

"Fancy face." Bo said, breaking the silence using the nickname he'd had for his wife since before they were married. The name meant so much to him. He even named his boat "fancy face" after his wife.

Hope looked up into her husband's eyes and could see that he was as worried as she was.

"Bo, I'm worried about Alyssa. Haven't you noticed that she's been more depressed lately? I mean, that smile she used to have is gone. Sure she still smiles, but it's lost its happiness. And now she isn't sleeping. Maybe we should have Marlena talk to her." Hope was talking about Marlena Black. She and her husband John were trusted friends of the family and their daughter Belle was Shawn's steady girlfriend. Marlena was a psychiatrist at the hospital, which was the reason why Hope suggested it.

"I don't know fancy face. I don't want Alyssa to feel forced into seeing a shrink." Bo hesitated.

"Marlena's not just a shrink Bo, she's a good friend. Alyssa trusts her and I think it would be easier for her to open up to Marlena rather than some other psychiatrist." Hope argued. Bo shrugged. She had a point, and it was obvious she was serious about it.

"Hope, I agree that there's something wrong, but let's wait. Let's keep trying to get her to open up to us and if nothing changes, we'll contact Marlena. Deal?" Bo extended his hand. Hope stared at it and then back up at her husband. She let out a long sigh, but took his hand and shook it.

"I don't like this Brady. I don't like it at all." Hope told her husband. He reached over and cupped her soft face in his hands.

"She'll be fine. She's a Brady. We always get through a crisis." Bo tried to reassure his wife. She only nodded, with doubtful eyes. Bo smiled at her.

"Do you still want that champagne?" He asked her with that grin. A smile crossed her face slowly.

"You bet I do Brady." She winked at him.


	2. Tension

The sun rose at 6:00a.m. the next morning and Alyssa watched as the sun filled the dark bedroom. She blinked as the bright light hit her eyes. She hadn't slept a wink. After she had said goodnight to her parents the night before, she snuck into Zac's bedroom and watched him sleep for a while. She loved that little boy so much, but often wished she could be that age again where there was nothing to worry about. She loved to watch her little brother sleep. He was so peaceful, lying there with his thumb in his mouth without a care in the world.

After she watched Zac for a little while, she tiptoed to the banister where she heard her mom and dad giggling from the kitchen. So she couldn't go downstairs and watch tv like she had wanted to. Instead, she went to her bedroom where she read her favorite novel under her bed sheets with the aid of her flashlight. That didn't last very long. Only a couple of hours. She then played solitaire, wrote in her journal, read her Bible, made card castles, anything that would occupy her boredom until morning. As the sun began to rise, she only lay on her bed, staring out the window, remembering what her peers had done to her the day before at school...

* * *

While she was walking into the cafeteria by herself, like always, the usual whispers filled the room, but Alyssa could still hear them.

"Oh my gosh, look. It's the ugly kid."

"She's failing every subject."

"Nobody likes her."

"She never talks."

"Her parents must be real screw-ups to have a kid like _that!_" Alyssa took deep breaths and focused on the back corner table that she sat at every lunch hour. She sat down and ate as quickly as she could, trying to get out of the cafeteria; away from the people who made her life miserable.

But yesterday was different than the usual snickers and whispers. Joline Thomas, the head cheerleader who always had some cruel comment for Alyssa grabbed her pom poms and jumped up onto a table. The whole student body quieted down, waiting to see what the popular Joline would do.

She stared coldly over at Alyssa and smiled cruelly. She started her little dance.

"2-4-6-8, who does everybody hate? Alyssa! Alyssa! Alyssa!..." She yelled out and soon everybody was chanting with her. Alyssa stared up at her arch enemy who kept on cheering. Alyssa could feel her eyes stinging and, not wanting to show her tears, ran out of the cafeteria where laughter and teasing were left behind. She spent the rest of her lunch hour in the bathroom crying...

* * *

Alyssa had stopped herself from thinking about it. It only made things worse. She hopped out of bed, made it and got dressed.

"Why even go to school?" She wondered out loud. She sighed and went downstairs where nobody had come down yet. Alyssa spread out on the couch and turned on the tv.

An hour later, Shawn flew down the stairs in a hurry. Alyssa jumped up and Shawn whipped around to face her.

"Hi Shawn, how are-"

"Alyssa! Have you seen my chem text?" He asked in a panic.

"Yes, you left it down here last night before you went to bed." Alyssa reached down and pulled up a heavy blue book. Shawn sighed heavily and grabbed the book from his sister.

"So, how was Belle last night?" Alyssa asked, trying to make conversation. Not having any friends of her own, her best friend became her brother and his friends became Alyssa's friends.

"She was fine." Shawn replied simply and he went into the kitchen. Alyssa followed.

"So what did you guys do?" She asked as Shawn tried to find himself some food for breakfast.

"Just a bunch of stuff." Shawn replied, obviously distracted.

"Like what?" Alyssa asked. Shawn turned quickly, causing Alyssa to jump.

"Alyssa! Stop asking so many questions! Leave me alone alright! I have a huge test today and I'm stressed out so just-" before he could finish yelling at his sister, Bo and Hope walked into the kitchen, staring at Shawn.

"Shawn! Don't yell at your sister." Bo said firmly. Hope looked down at her daughter, who was looking at Shawn with tears in her eyes.

"Honey, are you okay?" Hope asked, bending down to brush Alyssa's hair out of her face. Alyssa pulled away and stood up.

"I'm fine! I'm going to school. Bye mom and dad." With that, Alyssa stared coldly at her brother and stormed out of the room. Bo, Hope and Shawn heard the front door slam.

"Shawn, you know better than to treat your sister like that." Bo started to raise his voice. Shawn lowered his head.

"You know she's been depressed lately and her feelings are on a roller coaster so try to be careful, honey." Hope said.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I know she's been depressed. I didn't mean to snap at her like that." Shawn apologized, feeling ashamed of himself.

"Your sister doesn't have any friends her own age, so she needs you. You've been great to her. I don't know what we'd do without you." Bo smiled at his oldest son.

"You and Zac and Alyssa have made us very proud." Hope embraced her son and Shawn could feel his stress level reducing with every moment spent with his loving parents.


	3. Joline

Alyssa sat outside at lunch that day to avoid her peers that emotionally tortured her. It was windy out, and Alyssa's hair kept getting in the way of her food, but it was a small price to pay for the silence. Or so she thought.

The school doors burst open and Joline and her friends came running outside. As they passed Alyssa, Joline pushed Alyssa roughly.

"Oops, my bad." Joline said sarcastically as her friends giggled away. Alyssa ignored her and just looked away.

"Aww what's wrong? Did I hurt your feelings?" Joline pretended to cry and her friends roared with laughter.

"Joline, just leave me alone." Alyssa timidly said. Joline rolled her eyes and sat down next to Alyssa.

"You know, I don't even understand why you come to school. I mean, you're failing every subject, you have no friends and to top it all off, nobody likes you. Face it, the world wouldn't miss you if you were gone." Joline smirked and stood up.

"Bye now. Have a lovely lunch." And with her giggles, she walked away arm in arm with her friends, leaving Alyssa nearly in tears, but deep in thought. _She's right. Oh my gosh, she's right. Who would care?_ Alyssa stopped eating her salad and threw it in the garbage.

_Who would care?_ That thought crossed her mind over and over again for the rest of her day at school.


	4. Worry

At dinner that night, as Shawn, Alyssa and Zac were eating the dinner Hope had prepared for them, Bo and Hope were upstairs getting ready to go out for dinner at their favorite restaurant, Tuscany's. Alyssa poked at her food. She couldn't stop thinking about what Joline said. _You're failing every subject, you have no friends and to top it all off, nobody likes you. Face it, the world wouldn't miss you if you were gone._ Alyssa sighed loudly.

"Alyssa sad?" Zac asked in his little baby voice. He offered her his favorite rattle. Alyssa smiled and tousled his hair.

"Thanks pal." She said and she took the rattle. Shawn took this opportunity to apologize. He had felt guilty all day about yelling at her. He resented himself for causing his sister to run out nearly in tears. He loved Alyssa so much and hated that she'd been so depressed lately. He wished she would just let her family in to help her.

"Hey Alyssa. I wanted to apologize for the way I was this morning. It was rude and I never should have treated you the way that I did. So I'm sorry." Shawn said.

"Sowwy." Zac repeated. Alyssa smiled at Shawn.

"Thanks Shawn. I appreciate that." She said.

"So I'm going to the movies with Belle tonight and I talked to her today and we wondered if you wanted to come with us." Shawn suggested.

"Oh that would be a great idea Alyssa." Hope said as she entered the room putting on her earrings. Bo heard too as he was right behind her.

"You should go sailor girl. Zac's going to your gramma and grampa's tonight so you don't have to worry about him." He said as he helped Hope put her coat on. Alyssa forced a smile.

"Thanks Shawn but I have a lot of homework to do and the alone time will get it done quicker." She made up an excuse to get out of it.

"Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Hope asked worriedly. She felt that somehow, Alyssa was acting differently today. More sad, more distracted than usual.

"Of course I'll be alright. I'm 15, mom. I'm old enough to take care of myself." Alyssa replied. Hope nodded in disbelief.

"Okay, well we'll be home by eight or nine." Bo said as he gave Alyssa a kiss..

"Okay, bye mom and dad." Shawn called after them as they left, taking Zac with them. Alyssa sighed and put her fork down.

"Not hungry?" Shawn asked as he wolfed down his food. Alyssa shook her head and pushed her plate away. Shawn grabbed his last chicken finger and stood up.

"I should get going. Belle's waiting for me." He announced as he started to clear the table.

"Don't worry about that Shawn, I'll take care of it. Say hi to Belle to me." Alyssa said. Shawn nodded, hating to leave Alyssa alone.

"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" He asked again. Alyssa smiled.

"Yeah I'm sure. But thanks Shawn. Thanks for caring." She said. Shawn bent over and hugged his sister.

"I'll be home around the same time as mom and dad. I'll be bringing Belle over so we can hang out a bit more. I'll see you later." With that, Shawn left, and Alyssa was left alone with the nagging words of Joline Thomas. _The world wouldn't miss you if you were gone._


	5. Discoveries

"Hope, you haven't touched your dinner. Are you okay?" Bo asked when he noticed Hope was staring off into space, leaving her steak and potatoes to go cold.

"You haven't been yourself tonight." Bo tried again when Hope didn't answer him the first time. Hope turned to face her worried husband.

"Bo I have a bad feeling." She said in a low, quiet voice. Bo puckered his brow.

"What do you mean?" He asked curiously. Hope shook her head.

"I don't know. I just have this bad feeling about Alyssa. Bo, I'm sorry. I really feel like we should go home. I feel like something has happened." She said, her voice becoming shaky. Bo knew better than to argue. Hope and Alyssa were really close and Hope knew her only daughter better than anybody else did. Whether it was a sixth sense or a mother's intuition, Bo trusted it. He paid the check and took Hope out to the car.

"Maybe we should call." Bo suggested, trying to give Hope some reassurance. Hope nodded as she clutched herself for warmth. Bo took out his cell phone and dialed their home number. Bo waited as it rang two times, three times, four times, five times, six times. There was no answer! Bo suddenly started to panic.

"There's no answer." He said as he fumbled to put the cell phone in his coat pocket.

"What?" Hope's eyes filled with fear and she could see the same fear in her husband's eyes as well.

"We gotta get to the house right away." Bo announced as he and Hope hurried into the car.

* * *

They pulled into the driveway of their house and saw Shawn at the front door, with Belle, pulling out his key. Hope and Bo ran up the walk to the front stoop.

"Mom, dad. You're home early. What's going on?" Shawn asked curiously.

"Why are you home? Did something happen?" Hope asked, out of breath. Shawn began to worry, knowing that something was wrong.

"Belle and I decided we didn't want to see a movie. We decided to come home and hang out with Alyssa." Shawn said.

"Maybe help her with her homework, make popcorn, watch a movie." Belle added cheerfully. Bo and Hope pushed through the couple and unlocked the door.

"What's going on?" Shawn demanded to know.

"I think something happened to Alyssa. She wasn't answering the phone and I have a bad feeling." Hope answered quickly as she scanned the living room quickly, looking for Alyssa.

"Alyssa!" Bo called out. No answer. No sound of movement either. Hope stifled back tears.

"Something is really wrong." She cried. Bo held her close.

"Shawn, Belle, can you check upstairs please? We'll check down here." Bo said, trying to remain calm for his family. Shawn and Belle ran up the stairs, and Bo helped a shaken up Hope into the kitchen. The table hadn't been cleared from dinner.

"Oh gosh Bo! Alyssa is so clean, but everything's a mess. Something must have happened. It's not like her to leave a mess." Hope tried hard not to cry.

Just then, Bo and Hope heard a high-pitched scream coming from upstairs. Bo and Hope turned their heads quickly and knew it was Belle.

"Oh my gosh Bo!" Hope and Bo ran into the living room and up the stairs.

"Mom, dad!" Shawn yelled out. Bo and Hope followed the sound of his voice into Alyssa's bedroom. Belle blocked the doorway; she was crying and breathing heavily. Bo and Hope moved past her and saw them.

Alyssa was lying limp on her bed, with her arms spread out. Her wrists were covered in deep cuts, and her white bedspread had become a bloody red.

Shawn was right beside her, checking for a pulse.

"Alyssa! My baby." Hope could barely get the words out as she ran over to her only daughter. Bo joined them, and touched his daughter's tangled hair. He fought back tears.

"Belle, call 911 now!" He yelled. Belle ran from the room to the nearest telephone in Bo and Hope's bedroom.

"Dad, she's still breathing. She has a pulse." Shawn said as he removed his shaking hand from his sister's bloody wrist, his hand now covered in her blood. Hope was crying, as she took Alyssa's face into her hands.

"You're gonna be okay. We won't let you die. Not like this." She stared down at the bloody wrists and saw her butcher knife on the floor, also doused in blood. Hope began to choke on her tears. Bo tried to fight back his own, so he could comfort his family. He was so angry at himself for leaving her alone; for thinking she was alright.

Belle came running back, tears streaming down her face.

"The ambulance is on its way." She reported as she watched the family try everything they could to wake Alyssa up. Blood was still flowing from her wrists. Upon seeing this, Bo jumped up and grabbed some Kleenex from Alyssa's Kleenex box and gently pressed them onto the deep wounds to stop the bleeding.

"Shawn, press down on that arm, I'll take care of this one!" Bo ordered as he and Shawn pressed down on the bleeding cuts.

"How could she do this to herself? We love her so much." Hope cried out as she stroked her baby's hair. Alyssa lay motionless.

* * *

In the distance, they could hear sirens.

"Belle, can you go down and tell the paramedics where we are?" Bo's voice had become shaky. His fear could no longer be contained. His baby girl was slowly bleeding to death in front of him. The rosy cheeks Alyssa usually had were drained of all color, leaving her face a pasty white. Her lips were purple and her hair was tangled and sweaty. It was like looking down at a different girl.

Belle ran from the room. She nearly fell down the stairs as she hurried. She threw the front door open and saw flashing lights enter the Brady's driveway. _The ambulance is here. Thank You God._ She waited as two paramedics ran up the walk. A man and a woman.

"Where is she, young lady?" The man asked in a hurry. Belle turned back into the house without answering. She didn't want to waste any time, especially when Alyssa may not make it. Belle stopped herself from thinking that way. She loved Alyssa so much. Her and Shawn always tried so hard to include her and help her feel like she had friends. _What went wrong?_ She wondered as she quickly led the paramedics up to Alyssa's room.

* * *

Only moments passed and the paramedics had carefully carried Alyssa down to the ambulance and drove away, leaving Bo, Hope, Shawn and Belle in a state of panic.

"We have to get to the hospital right now!" Hope cried out as she leaned against her husband for support.

"Yeah, let's go. Shawn, Belle, you can come in our car." Bo announced and the four ran out to the car that Bo and Hope had arrived home in not more than fifteen minutes ago.

"Oh Shawn. Would you please run up to Alyssa's bedroom and grab her jacket? If she's...when she's alright, it might be cold when we bring her home. I don't want my baby to freeze." Hope began to cry again as Shawn silently got out of the car. Hope was beginning to blame herself. _I knew something wasn't right before I left. I knew we shouldn't have left her alone, but I did and she tried to kill herself. What kind of a mother am I?_ She couldn't lose her daughter. She just had to be alright.

Five minutes passed and Shawn still hadn't returned to the car.

"He must not be able to find her jacket. I'd better go see what's keeping him." Hope said, trying not to think about Alyssa's suicide attempt. Bo and Belle were silent as Hope got out of the car and ran to the house. The front door was still open and when Hope walked into the house, she saw Shawn sitting on the staircase, crying as he clutched a pink piece of paper in his hand.

"Honey, what's the matter? We have to get to the hospital." Hope watched as her sobbing son slowly got up. He tried to hide the piece of paper in his pocket, but Hope noticed.

"Shawn, what is that?" She asked nervously, fearing the worst.

"Mom, no, I don't think you should read it. Not now. You're too upset." Shawn tried.

"We are a family. We don't hide things from each other. It's from Alyssa, isn't it?" Hope asked, fighting back the tears that were for her little girl. Shawn sniffled, but handed the note to his mother. The words stabbed through her heart like a sharp dagger.

**Dear mom, dad, Shawn and Zac,**

**I know how sad this will be for you. I didn't want to leave because of you, so please don't blame yourselves. You never knew what was going on at school because I never told you. I don't know why I didn't. I guess I just wanted to try to be normal.**

**You guys will miss me, and I'll miss you more than you can ever imagine, but there were people who teased and tormented me. I couldn't take it anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pain I caused. I love you so much. Dad, you're my protector, always making sure I'm okay. I'm okay now. No more pain. Mom, you were the closest person. I could tell you anything. Please don't think that it was your fault I didn't open up, nothing is your fault. Shawn, thanks for being my best friend, and for always caring for me and including me in your activities. Thank Belle for me too, who was always like a big sister. And Zac, sorry I won't be there to see you grow up. Remember that I loved you so much, and please remember that your sister cared for you deeply.**

**I love you all. I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I'm sorry.**

**_Love Alyssa_**

Hope's tears smudged the ink on the letter written by Alyssa only moments before she had made the first cut.

"Oh Alyssa, why?" Hope cried out. Shawn embraced her quickly and they cried together.

"It's not too late. She was still breathing. We have to get to the hospital." Shawn said, stopping his tears for a moment. Hope nodded, and left the house, clutching the note. Shawn bent down and picked up Alyssa's blue jacket that he brought downstairs from her bedroom, only to find Alyssa's note in the left pocket. Shawn held the coat close and prayed silently as he closed the door behind him and ran to the car.


	6. Okay

When they arrived at the hospital, they were directed to the emergency wing. There wasn't a dry face among them. They were all crying now. Hope remembered back to only a few hours ago when she and Bo were about to take off.

"Of course I'll be alright. I'm 15, mom. I'm old enough to take care of myself." Alyssa had said. _We should have stayed home. If only we had stayed home. She wouldn't have done it._ Hope choked on her tears and cuddled to Bo for support. As much as he tried to be strong for his family, Bo couldn't do it. Alyssa meant everything to him. He remembered how much that little girl was wanted. After Shawn, they prayed for a baby girl, and four years after Shawn entered the world, Alyssa came. She was a miracle. Their only daughter. _We can't lose her now! Don't take her now!_ He looked over at Shawn, whose eyes were wide, a habit he had to stop himself from crying. He and Belle were huddled close together as Hope began to wonder if she would ever be able to hold her little girl again. _Her note said she had people tormenting her. If she makes it, I'll make it my number one goal to take care of this. That school is going to hear from me._ The note. Hope gasped. She hadn't shown it to Bo yet.

"Hope, what's the matter?" Bo asked, noticing the despair splashed across his wife's beautiful face. Hope turned to Bo, and pulled the pink piece of paper out of her pocket. Bo looked at it and narrowed his eyebrows.

"What's that?" He asked, already recognizing Alyssa's notebook paper. He remembered the day he took Alyssa to Salem Place to do some shopping and when Alyssa spotted a pad of light pink paper, she begged her dad for it, saying she wanted the stories she liked to write so much to look more decorative. Bo didn't argue. As much as he hated to admit to it, he spoiled his kids. So he bought it for her.

He stared at the now crumpled piece of paper and knew it had been ripped out of that pad.

"Honey, I think you should read this." Hope said silently, as her tears stopped for a moment to watch her husband's reaction. Bo swallowed hard and carefully took the paper. As he opened it, he immediately recognized Alyssa's penmanship and tried to steady his shaking hands.

He read over the letter, each word brought a new tear to his eyes. It was about halfway through the letter when he started breathing heavily and more tears came. He covered his face with his hands and cried.

"Alyssa no! Don't die, you can't." He managed to say. He had tried so hard to be brave for his family, but Alyssa's letter that was meant to be her last words to her family struck him hard. Especially the part that was written just for him. The part that set him off.

**Dad, you're my protector, always making sure I'm okay. I'm okay now. No more pain.**

"I could've stopped her. I should have stopped her. I'm her father." He said as Hope leaned in, tears falling down her own cheeks.

As they cried together, Shawn leaned over to Belle.

"She mentioned you in her note." He said in a low whisper, fighting back the tears. Belle turned to him and stared at him with moist eyes.

"Really? What did she say?" She asked, biting her lip to stop herself from crying.

"She told me to thank you for always including her. She said you were like a big sister to her." Shawn began to cry again, and Belle did too.

"Oh Shawn." She wrapped her arms around him.

* * *

Half an hour had passed. Bo, Hope, Shawn and Belle were tired and emotionally drained. It felt as though there were no tears left. The worry and despair were still there, but pushed aside for the time being. They had to fight off sleep. They were getting tired. Alyssa had been in the emergency room for a half an hour and with each passing moment, Bo, Hope, Shawn and Belle wondered and worried about whether or not Alyssa would be okay.

They all jumped to their feet and held each other close when Dr. Wesley came out of the emergency room and approached them. Craig Wesley was also a friend of the family. His daughter Chloe was good friends with Shawn and Belle and Craig was a well respected doctor. Bo and Hope had taken comfort in knowing that their daughter was in good hands.

"Craig, how is she? Please tell us you have good news." Hope bravely said as she clutched Bo's hand. Craig pulled his plastic gloves off and combed his fingers through his hair.

"Alyssa cut her wrists really deep. Luckily she didn't severe any arteries, although she came very close. However, she lost a lot of blood, but we gave her a transfusion. Your daughter is going to be okay." Craig explained. Bo, Hope and Shawn sighed quickly and embraced each other.

"Our baby's alright." Hope cried out, and a small smile crossed her face.

"Can I make a suggestion? Considering the circumstances, I would highly recommend that Alyssa see a psychiatrist before she sees anybody else. I know it sounds strange, but we've had suicidals who have freaked out when they find out their attempt has failed. Alyssa is unconscious, but I think that a psychiatrist should be there when she wakes up. So I can get one down here who's on call." Craig suggested.

"No. If our daughter has to wake up to a psychiatrist, I'd rather it be somebody she's familiar with. We'll call Marlena Black." Bo announced.

"My mom's probably still here." Belle said. "She said she had to work late. Should I go get her?"

"Please Belle, that would be great. I really want Marlena to be there if we can't be." Hope replied and Belle ran off.

"Alyssa is being moved right now to ICU 4 if you want to head up there. I'll tell Dr. Black and Belle where she is." Craig offered.

"Thank you for saving her life Craig." Hope whispered.

"Thank these guys Hope." Craig said, as he pointed to Bo and Shawn. "If they hadn't stopped the bleeding when they did, she wouldn't have made it." Craig smiled at the family and walked away. Hope turned to her husband and her son and began to cry.

"She's okay guys. Thanks to you, she's going to be okay." Hope stretched her arms out and squeezed Bo and Shawn.

"Come on. Let's go." Bo suggested as the family slowly made their way to the elevator.


	7. Marlena

Bo, Hope and Shawn made it up to ICU 4. There was a small window that separated the room Alyssa was in from her family. Bo, Hope and Shawn approached the window and looked in. Alyssa was lying in the bed, looking just as peaceful as when she slept. Her face was still pale and her lips still purple, but she was alive. Her wrists were wrapped in white gauze.

"Bo." Hope nearly fell apart, seeing her daughter in that hospital bed. Bo held Hope and kissed her forehead.

"She's gonna be alright and we're going to make sure this never happens again." He promised.

* * *

Seconds later, Belle ran up to ICU 4 with her mother right behind her.

"Oh Marlena. Thanks so much for coming." Hope said as she embraced her friend.

"How are you doing Hope?" Marlena asked quietly. Hope sighed and she began to cry again.

"Marlena, she shouldn't be in there. We shouldn't have left her alone." She cried out.

"No! Hope don't do this to yourself! This couldn't have been prevented, only delayed. If Alyssa had her mind set, it would have happened whether you went out or not. Don't torture yourself with blaming yourself. I'm a psychiatrist and I never saw it coming, not from Alyssa. That just proves that suicides happen impulsively. You couldn't have done anything." Marlena assured her. Hope nodded, only half believing her. Through the window, they saw Alyssa slightly stirring.

"I'll go talk to her now. Why don't you go sit over there and I'll come get you when I'm finished. Trust me, this will all be okay." Marlena smiled as she watched Bo, Hope, Shawn and Belle slowly walk over to sit down in the waiting area. Marlena turned and quietly let herself into the hospital room. She looked down at Alyssa and then at the bandaged wrists. _What happened to make you think life wasn't worth living?_ She thought as she pulled a chair over to the side of the bed. She knew that Alyssa was starting to wake up, because she was moving slightly. Marlena watched and remembered that she had watched this girl grow up. Shawn and Belle had met in kindergarten and their families became friends instantly. Alyssa was only a year old when that happened and Marlena watched Alyssa grow up into a wonderful young lady, who had loving parents and great brothers. _So then why did she try to kill herself?_

She watched as Alyssa's eyes slowly opened and drowsily searched the room. She stopped when she saw Marlena gently smiling at her.

"Hi sweetie. How are you feeling?" She asked carefully. Alyssa puckered her brow and scanned the room again.

"I'm in the hospital?" She asked in almost a whisper.

"Yes honey, do you remember why?" Marlena asked the question with care. She had a feeling that Alyssa was having a moment of amnesia and was ready for Alyssa's reaction when she remembered what she had done to herself. _Will she be relieved that she's alive or will she be angry that it didn't work?_ She watched carefully as Alyssa thought back. Then she shrugged.

"I don't remember." She said as she raised her hand to scratch her head. She grazed down at the bandaged wrists and her eyes widened. Her mind flashed back to only an hour or so ago when she tearfully took her mother's butcher knife and ran up to her bedroom to write a note. She used her pink paper because it reminded her of her time at Salem Place with her dad. She put the note in her coat pocket because she knew if she was rushed to the hospital, her mother would insist on bringing her coat. Her mother was such a hopeful woman, just like her name.

Alyssa continued to stare at the bandages and she started to cry.

"Don't look at them Alyssa, look at me." Marlena said as she took Alyssa's arm and placed it back down.

"Oh my gosh, what have I done?" Alyssa cried out. Marlena leaned over and took the crying girl into her arms and held her as she sobbed.

"There, there sweetie. Don't cry. You're alright. Shh. You're fine." Marlena soothed. Alyssa stopped her tears for a moment.

"Why would I do something so stupid?" She asked, but it was a question she was asking herself, not Marlena. Marlena stroked her hair.

"I think we need to talk Alyssa." She said quietly as Alyssa leaned back against the white pillows. Alyssa wiped away her tears, and tried to avoid looking at her wrists.

"Now Alyssa, this may be hard to talk about, but it's important. We've all noticed a change in you this year. You've become more depressed. Have you been feeling depressed lately?" Marlena asked, trying to make Alyssa as comfortable as possible. Alyssa looked away, avoiding eye contact. She reluctantly nodded.

"Belle's been telling me things that you've told her. I hope that's okay. She tells me that for the last week, you haven't been sleeping. Is that right?" Marlena watched as Alyssa nodded again.

"I may be wrong, but I'm guessing that something is happening to you that's making you depressed and it's been on your mind a lot. So much that it keeps you awake at night. Something that you haven't talked to anybody about, not even your parents." Marlena guessed. She watched as Alyssa swallowed hard, still avoiding eye contact. Marlena knew she hit the nail right on the head.

"So whatever's been happening must be pretty bad. So bad that you couldn't take it anymore, so you wanted it to end. So Alyssa, maybe now it's time for you to open up. Let people in so you don't have to deal with this alone anymore." Marlena was quiet, waiting for a hesitant Alyssa to open her mouth and finally let herself talk about the pain that nearly ended her life.

She was still crying. She didn't want to deal with the pain anymore. She felt so angry at herself for trying to kill herself. She could feel herself giving in, she couldn't deal with it by herself.

"I didn't want to die. I really didn't. I just didn't know what else to do. I thought I would be okay dealing with it on my own. I didn't think I needed to talk about it." Alyssa cried out. Marlena's heart sunk. She had dealt with many suicidal teenagers in her career, but this was Alyssa. She was like a second daughter, and seeing her this depressed made Marlena have to fight back her own tears. She swallowed hard and continued.

"Alyssa, it's important to share feelings with people. Keeping them to yourself can be dangerous, as you've just experienced. But God's given you a second chance to let those feelings out. I want to help you Alyssa. We don't want this to happen again. We all love you. Let us in. Your family is concerned about you." Marlena smiled warmly as Alyssa seemed to betaking it all in.

"I didn't mean to hurt them. I didn't want to leave them, but her voice was just so strong." Alyssa said, staring off into space, as if she were remembering. Marlena tilted her head slightly.

"Who's voice, honey? Who's voice are you talking about?" She asked. _Now we're getting somewhere_.

"Joline." Alyssa said as her voice cracked. She stopped herself from crying.

"Who's Joline? Why was her voice in your head tonight?" Marlena asked as Alyssa breathed in. She wasn't sure if she should talk about it. _I just tried to kill myself,_ she remembered. _All because I couldn't open up._ She looked at Marlena and knew she could trust her. She remembered Marlena always being there for her her whole life. She felt herself giving in slowly. She didn't want to end up doing this again. She was lucky to be alive. She knew that. As she debated whether or not to let them in, she thought of her parents. They loved her so much and she loved them just as much. She remembered how worried they had been lately and how desperate they seemed to want to help her.

As Alyssa looked at Marlena again, she knew that her mom and dad would want her to open up. _First Marlena, then mom and dad. _She thought to herself.

"Joline is the head cheerleader at school. She's always making fun of me. The whole school does. I have no friends and everybody is always laughing at me. They're all so mean, but Joline is worse. She laughs and makes fun of me just like they all do, but she's worse than the others. She hurts me so badly. Today though..." Alyssa broke down sobbing. Marlena stroked her chocolate brown hair, fighting back her own tears.

"What happened today Alyssa? What made today different?" She asked quietly. Alyssa sniffled and wiped her tears away.

"Joline told me...she said that...I...I'm failing every subject...I have no friends and nobody likes me. She told me that...the world wouldn't miss me if I was...gone." Alyssa started to cry. "Her voice was in my head tonight! It kept repeating itself over and over and over! I believed she was right, so I, I..."

"Don't talk about it Alyssa. Just listen to what I have to say." Marlena interrupted. Alyssa slowly nodded as she tried to stop her tears. Marlena reached out and gently held Alyssa's hand.

"Sweetie, Joline was wrong. What she said was just a big lie. Joline is just a cold-hearted person who finds some sick pleasure in other people's misery. It's an awful thing, but there are people like that. It doesn't mean they're right. The world wouldn't be better off without you. A lot of people would miss you terribly. Your mom, your dad, Shawn, Zac, Belle, Chloe and I would too. Your grandparents would miss you. All of Shawn's friends would miss you; Cassie, Rex, Phillip, and Mimi. They're your friends too. Alyssa, you are the light in so many people's hearts. You are so loved, no matter what anybody else says. Joline is the one who has the problem, not you. And you can be sure that something will be done about this. We will not let this pass." Marlena promised. Alyssa seemed to be taking it all in. She thought of everyone Marlena mentioned and as she thought of each person, a wonderful memory came to follow. Shawn. She remembered when she was six years old and a ten-year-old Shawn taught her how to ride a bike. Alyssa could still remember Shawn running to her and scooping her into her arms and spinning her.

_"You did it Alyssa. You rode a bike!" He yelled out excitedly._

_"I did it because of you Shawn." Alyssa had smiled at him brightly._

And Zac. Alyssa remembered the time she taught him his ABC's. Only two weeks ago. Little Zac was so determined to make his big sister proud, and he didn't fail. Alyssa was so proud of her little brother as he sang along with Alyssa perfectly. A quick learner.

Alyssa looked at Marlena again, her eyes nearly desperate. She couldn't stop thinking of her family.

"Is my...family here?" She asked quietly. She wanted to see them so badly. Remembering them, and realizing that she almost lost them forever made her long to see them.

"Of course they're here, honey. They came here right after the ambulance brought you here. They love you." Marlena replied. Alyssa swallowed.

"Can I see them?" She whispered. She was scared to see them, but she wanted to. She didn't know how they would react to her suicide attempt. Would they be angry? Would they be sad? Alyssa didn't want to see her family hurting all because of her, but she needed them. She needed to feel their arms around her and hear them say "I love you."

"Yes Alyssa, you can see them now. I am so proud of you for opening up, sweetie. Please let your family in. And if it's okay with you, I'd like to talk to you some more. Set up some appointments. Is that okay with you?" Marlena asked. Alyssa smiled. It was small, but it wasn't forced.

"I'd like that Marlena." Alyssa replied quietly. Marlena smiled at her and stood up.

"I'll go get your family." She said warmly and she left the hospital room, closing the door behind her. Alyssa let out a long sigh. She suddenly felt different inside. She felt as though a ton of bricks were lifted from her shoulders. She was surprised at how good she felt to let that all out of herself. _Marlena was so nice about it. Will mom, dad and Shawn be the same? _She thought as she leaned against her pillows. _Will things ever be the same anymore?_ She suddenly heard the door handle turn. She turned her head quickly and when she saw her mom, her dad and Shawn enter the room, tears filled her eyes.


	8. Reunited

Hope approached Alyssa's bed slowly and sat down. She stared at her daughter for a moment.

"Baby..." She managed as she pulled her girl into the warmest embrace Alyssa could ever remember. Hope couldn't contain her tears anymore. She had promised herself not to cry in front of Alyssa, but seeing her, knowing that she nearly died was too much for her.

"Oh baby, I love you so much." Hope managed to say. Alyssa was crying too now. She felt so blessed to be in her mother's arms again.

"Mommy, I'm so sorry." Alyssa whispered. Hope pulled out of the embrace and cupped Alyssa's face into her hands.

"No honey. Do not be sorry okay? Don't beat yourself up over it. It's in the past. We will get through this together." Hope promised. Alyssa looked up and saw Shawn and Bo. She stared into her father's eyes and knew that he had been crying. Her heart sank.

"Daddy..." She started and Bo went to her, pulling her so close, so tight. He never wanted to let go. He bit his lip as he held his only daughter close to his heart.

"I love you sailor girl." He said as his voice shook.

"I love you too dad." Alyssa cried out. As she looked over her dad's shoulder, she saw Shawn and her eyes glistened with new tears. Her big brother, her best friend, had tears in his eyes.

"Shawn. Please don't cry." Alyssa managed to say as she released herself from her dad's grasp. She stared up at her brother as he walked toward her slowly. She got up on her knees and wrapped her arms around Shawn's neck as her wrapped his around her waist. As the siblings held each other, they cried together.

"Alyssa, I was so afraid I lost you. I love you so much and I couldn't handle life without you." Shawn said as he squeezed his sister tighter. Alyssa never felt more loved than she did that moment. Surrounded by her wonderful family made her thank God she was alive.

* * *

Marlena and Belle watched from outside the hospital room. Marlena leaned over and held her daughter close and kissed her forehead. Belle turned to look into her mom's eyes.

"What was that for?" She asked. Marlena smiled.

"I'm just so lucky to have you, Belle. I hope you always know that." She said quietly.

"I do mom. I know you and dad love me. I have parents who love each other and who love me. That's all that matters." Belle replied as they turned back to see Alyssa talking to her family. Marlena knew she was finally allowing them back into her life.

"You're right Belle. In that respect, Alyssa is just as lucky." She said as she held Belle close.

* * *

"Oh honey. Why did you have to go through this all alone?" Hope asked, after Alyssa told her family what had driven her to that butcher knife.

"I don't know why I couldn't tell you. I guess I just wanted to pretend that everything was okay. I didn't want to accept it and talking about it meant accepting it." Alyssa felt so ashamed, but felt better after telling her family the truth.

"Well, you're definitely not going back to that school. I won't let you go through that again." Hope promised.

"We'll get you started at a new school where you can get a fresh start and stay away from that cheerleader." Bo added. Alyssa smiled. Her family meant the world to her and here they were, still loving her and taking care of her, even after she tried to take her own life. She felt as though God had given her a second chance. She felt blessed and happy to be with her family. As she looked into their warm, happy faces, she trusted that things would be okay from now on. She was loved, and to her, that was all that mattered.


	9. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Alyssa remained in the hospital a week after her attempt, carefully monitored by the staff. Craig Wesley had her released earlier than most suicidal patients, because it was different with Alyssa. There was a change in her. She had finally been able to open up to people and tell them what she was feeling.

Once she was out of the hospital, she started seeing Marlena on a weekly basis. Alyssa felt it to be very helpful to have a professional psychiatrist to talk to, along with everybody else. Her family soon became aware of everything Alyssa ever felt or went through. They became the honest family they once were.

Bo and Hope pulled Alyssa out of Salem High School and enrolled her into Jacobson High School to complete the year. That was when Bo and Hope noticed a tremendous change in Alyssa. Her grades went up remarkably. Marlena said it was because she wasn't having the emotional problems to distract her from achieving good grades. And best of all, Alyssa became part of a circle of friends who treated her well and listened to her. Bo and Hope couldn't be more proud or happier. Alyssa became the girl she used to be. Happy and honest. Bo and Hope felt so blessed to have three happy children, who were loved enormously by their parents.

That was all that mattered!

**The End!**

Please RR, love Chrissy


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